I did it. I worked out every day this weekend. I have worked out four days in a row. I have run three days in a row. I am totally motivated by the thought of buying new workout clothes. And I will need to get new running shoes, too. They are four months old. I am starting to feel my legs when I run. That usually means it’s time for new shoes. But the run felt good today. I feel out of shape, but it felt good. Of course I counteracted all of the benefits of the run by taking a nap afterward, but hey, it was well deserved.
All that grading I was supposed to do? Not done. Haven’t prepped for class yet either, but I’m tired. I tried to prep at the laundromat, but there was too much commotion (look, I understand that parents need to bring their kids with them to the laundromat, that it’s not easy to get a sitter just to do laundry, but please, the laundromat is not a jungle gym, and neither am I. I don’t care if your kids are running around screaming as long as they are not hitting me with their toys or running into me. Exercise a little discipline. Yes, I know they are kids, but just because you’re a kid doesn’t mean you get to repeatedly run into me like I’m not even standing there. Once or twice is fine. But five or six times, tell your kid to sit down and behave. Please). Anyway, even though it was just a few pages, and even though Orwell is not obtuse, it was like the hardest thing I had ever read. I couldn’t focus for my life. So I gave up. I’d be better off doing it in the morning. I’m supposed to have paper topics ready for them tomorrow, too, but I can’t think right now. If I tried to get it done right now, I’d end up with a headache and having to do it all over again in the morning anyway. I guess that means then that I spend tomorrow night getting through as many drafts as I can past the ones that need to get done by Tuesday. I can get in a run after school, come home, eat some leftovers, and then go sit at the *$ for a couple of hours or so, bang out 10-15 in a couple of hours (most of these drafts are not long at all), and call it a night. Fortunately I made enough chili to get me through the next couple of nights so I don’t have to cook again until Wednesday.
I think I can make it until Thanksgiving. I will need to spend a part of that week cleaning and I really want to finish unpacking and organizing. I’d like to go into the holiday season organized. Don’t ask me why. It’s not like I’m having any parties or visitors or anything, but I really would like to get my $hit together. I make a little bit more progress every week, but I need to just suck it up and finish it, just like this grading.
This is the first time in a while that I’ve been looking forward to Christmas. Generally I don’t know how I feel about Christmas, and since I don’t adhere to any kind of religious belief, it seems ridiculous that I would like Christmas, but I do like the idea of it, and I get all joyful and cheezy and crap. That’s not even to mention the rampant consumerism associated with the holiday or the fact that instead of people being kinder during the holidays, I’ve noticed that people actually become much bigger a$$holes during the holidays which is directly related to consumerism. Nor do I like the message that love is tied to gifts or that a person’s worth, particularly children’s, is tied to what they get for Christmas. If the SB and I have kids, we’ve already discussed how we will celebrate the holiday with the kids to minimize the horrible message that gets sent out during the holidays. But I digress with a disclaimer. I like the idea of Christmas–peace on earth, goodwill to men. I hate to say this, especially since I know there are those of you who are on the market, but I know the reason that I’m looking forward to Christmas already is completely tied to the fact that I will NOT be at MLA this year. For the first time in three years, I will not being going to the conference. I am so happy, and again, I say this with caution lest you think I may be rubbing it in, but I am so happy that once the semester is done, I can be off for a while. I can enjoy my break without anxiety for the first time in years. I get to go home and see the parental units, not worry about cleaning or cooking (though I will have to do some cooking because just to say the word vegan makes my parents start twitching in horror). I will miss the pups, but I won’t have to worry about them–they will be well cared for. I don’t even know if I’ll bother to do any prep or academic reading while I’m there (I have almost the entire month of January to do this). Nope. I get to spend about 10 or 12 days working out, watching t.v., and resting. I wasn’t supposed to have to travel at all this year–the fam was supposed to come see me, but, well, we won’t get into that. Next year we’ll have to travel–I’m sure the SB’s parents will want to spend Christmas with him. But I won’t worry about that now.
What I will worry about now is that I think I’m going to go to bed early. I’m about to fall out.
Right now, I’m at this, almost exactly:
I know it’s going to take a long time, like a year probably. It’s not like I said I wanted to hit that goal by christmas. And I have no idea if my hair will even grow as long as I want it to, but even if it only gets to my shoulders, I can still have that style. Whether or not it will look good is not the issue now. I’ll deal with that when I get there. But still, it’s not nice to laugh at someone else’s hair goal. But it’s not going to grow if she keeps cutting it the same length! I know, I know, this is a minor issue, but this is the longest my hair has been in 4 years! It’s a big deal to me!